When I was in college, I did not fit in. Unlike most of my college peers, I went to a really bad high school in a town where education was not valued very much. I was deficient in my study skills and I had undiagnosed dyslexia and ADD. It took me forever to do reading assignments. Everyone else seemed so smart and they got good grades with a fraction of the amount of effort I put in.
Now I am a faculty member at Davidson and I am still an outsider. I have expressed my opinion and been chastised for it. I have been told repeatedly about faculty who dislike me. I have been called names by other faculty to the point that I have withdrawn from most social gatherings. At times I feel very lonely on this campus. Luckily, the students and staff are more supportive so I enjoy my job despite feeling ostracized by my peers.
I share my story because I don’t want students to think that all faculty have figured out how to fit in. You are not alone in feeling alone. However, it may be that trying to fit in with your peers is the wrong goal. Find another group of people who can accept you for who you are. Don’t ever apologize for being honest about who you are. I am not willing to stifle my opinion for the sake of being accepted by my peers.